ISIS and Boko Haram Wed

Mar 9, 2015 - 0 Comments

The ISIS merger with Nigerian terrorists Boko Haram has just been finalized, marrying the two hellish entities into one unholy alliance. 

Both Muslim-extremist groups have independently besmirched the good name of Muhammad for years with their wanton bombings and bloodshed, but those senseless acts of violence will undoubtedly be amped up, now that they’ve exchanged vows.

“We announce our allegiance to the Caliph and will obey him in times of difficulty and prosperity,” Boko Haram’s blushing leader blissfully announced in a pledge perversely reminiscent of “till death do we part” or “in sickness and in health.”

The proud newlyweds won’t have much time for honeymooning though, as preoccupied ISIS juggles the demanding duty of beheading helpless captives with that of bulldozing historical sites in the Arab regions it’s covetously holding hostage.

The deranged demolition of the ancient city of Nimrud in 2015 is a prime example of ISIS’s latest *contribution* to Islam, so one can only shudder to think what its union with Boko Haram will promise.

As to the possibility that yet another ISIS wedding is secretly in the works, that’s probably inevitable, unfortunately. After all, it’s not uncommon for certain religious radicals to court a lot of mistresses and wives.

EPONYMOUS ROX

 

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