Ken Gruno Drowning: Another “Accident”

Mar 29, 2015 - 0 Comments

Air Force veteran Ken Gruno had a date to play paintball the day after he vanished into thin air, and had just enrolled for the spring semester at Michigan’s Wayne State University as well. 

Three months later, the dapper 27-year-old’s mysterious disappearance from downtown Otisville has at last been solved -- he “accidentally” drowned in somebody’s shallow pond.

Statistical odds of that naturally occurring in the dead of winter when the victim was neither skating nor snowmobiling, or doing anything whatsoever on or near water?

Slim to none, to be honest.

People don’t typically drown in ponds during the summer either

According to the CDC’s annual mortality figures, few people drown in fresh bodies of water at all, even during the summer months when water-recreation is at a seasonal high.

That’s because few people now choose freshwater to entertain themselves in, of course. Swimming pools being far more appealing for the simple reason that, when correctly maintained, one can see right to the bottom.

MISSING FOUND DROWNED: The Smiley Face Serial Killer theory

Majority of drown victims are small children, not grown men

CDC drown stats further reveal that privately owned pools pose the greatest hazards and likelihood for drowning.

However, the majority of these victims are little kids -- inexperienced swimmers drowning quickly and almost without notice because they hadn’t been properly supervised by their parents or guardians.

But, if it’s any consolation to those who tirelessly searched weeks on end for Ken Gruno in all kinds of wintry weather, lately lots of other males just like him have somehow been “accidentally” drowning in wintertime, too.

And when they weren’t anywhere near rivers, lakes, streams or ponds.

EPONYMOUS ROX

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