71 Jihadist Sleepers in America (says ISIS)

May 10, 2015

Islamic terrorists say 71 Jihadist sleepers are currently stationed on American soil, just waiting in the wings somewhere for their kill orders. 

That statement, made this time by the group known either as IS or ISIS, comes at a time when the war of words between Moslem haters and Moslem extremists is heating up worldwide.

And the present grudge match between the two parties seems to have been ignited by a ridiculous cartoon contest.

The deliberately provocative Draw Muhammad competition in Texas this month drew actual gunshots at the end when two disgruntled gunmen tried to crash the occasion and opened fire on security guards.

Both would-be shooters were promptly neutralized, but no one else was killed in the botched terrorist attack for which ISIS is eager to claim a dismal victory.

However, since the thwarted assault on the convention center the group’s spokespeople have been publicly issuing more detailed threats which may or may not be just additional bluster.

This week, for instance, they released a written statement outlining how and where 71 Jihadist sleepers are hiding in America.

“We have 71 trained soldiers in 15 different states ready at our word to attack any target we desire,” the message read, adding that “out of the 71 trained soldiers 23 have signed up for missions like Sunday. We are increasing in number bithnillah [if God wills]. Of the 15 states, 5 we will name… Virginia, Maryland, Illinois, California, and Michigan…The next six months will be interesting.”

Truly powerful people aren’t in the habit of threatening others, obviously, but the warning does serve to highlight terrorists’ naiveté about effectively striking the surveillance and police state of America “where she lives.”

I mean, as a U.S. resident, when was the last time you stepped out the front door and your image wasn’t almost immediately captured by a security camera?

September 10th 2001 maybe…?

@EponymousRox

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