Army Will Settle [Irrefutable] Nazi Gold Train Claim - Poland

Amid “irrefutable” claims over a fabled Nazi trainload of loot -- and some serious back-peddling -- Polish officials will bring in army soldiers and engineers to ascertain whether it exists, or not. 

In the interim, hoards of would-be gold-diggers who’ve been steadily swamping the alleged location for weeks have been banned from coming anywhere near it now.

The latter restrictions followed a suspicious forest fire in that wooded section of railway near the city of Walbrzych Poland, as well as the death this week of a trespassing treasure-seeker who fell through a tomb.

Two of the deceased 39-year-old’s companions have been charged for desecrating the graveyard in their quest to access a “secret tunnel” to the gold train that was purportedly buried by the Nazis in 1945.

The mystery and melee has come to a head this summer after two men, Andreas Richter and Piotr Koper, reported to Polish authorities via their attorney that they’d finally located the #goldtrain, and filed a claim for its “valuable” contents.

They have since backtracked somewhat on earlier assertions that “billions of dollars” of gold and similar artifacts are onboard the World War II relic; probably to discourage the greedy mobs that have descended on the site.

A spokesman for the Polish military stated that the area that Richter and Koper pinpointed will have to be completely cleared before army engineers and troops can begin their excavation efforts.

That job should be easier though, since unknown arsonists recently set the woodland ablaze, in a raging wildfire that destroyed all the trees and shrubs there and required five fire departments to put out.

Friday, Polish officials officially abandoned their own skepticism by declaring “99-percent certainty” that the Third Reich's mythical train of gold has been found at last.

Historians caution, however, that even if the legendary locomotive does exist and can be unearthed, its cargo is far more likely to be corpses, incriminating documents, and even a dirty bomb.

But, “if it is confirmed the train is carrying valuable items, the finders can expect a ten-percent finder’s fee, either in the form of a reward from the ministry, or from the owners of the property,” a government spokesman announced this week.

“Of course any items of value will be returned to their original owners -- assuming we can find them.”

@EponymousRox