Illiterate Brit Busted For Attempted Murder After Stupid Spelling Mistake - UK

Nov 24, 2015

WARNING: If you’re planning on offing your quarrelsome spouse and leaving a phony suicide note at the crime scene, be sure to use SpellCheck… 

Jacqueline Patrick not only failed to proofread the note she forged after serving her husband, Douglas, a cocktail spiked with antifreeze, but she didn’t manage to achieve her murderous mission either.

In 2013 the fumbling 55-year-old felon aroused the suspicion of medics and police after she produced a goodbye-cruel-world purportedly written by her sickened victim in which dignity was misspelled as “dignerty.”

Investigators then asked Mrs. Patrick to spell the word for them again, at which point it became obvious she was the author of her husband’s last testament.

That telltale typographical error saw her finally jailed this week for up to 15 years, and also put away a 21-year-old daughter for her supporting role in the stupid crime.

The two implicated themselves as klutzy coconspirators when they each forgot to delete a number of incriminating text messages discussing the plot to kill Douglas Patrick with a poisoned Christmas beverage.

“Most shocking of all,” though, said a London detective instrumental in busting the illiterate *mastermind* and her accomplice, is that Jacqueline Patrick also wrote at the bottom of her husband’s suicide letter that he “did not wish to be resuscitated.”





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