White House Fence Jumper: All right Lets Do This.

Nov 27, 2015

Clenching a mysterious notebook in his teeth and clad in an American flag, Joe Caputo easily leapt over the White House’s brand new security fence on Thanksgiving Day, spikes and all. 

Caputo’s spectacular jump immediately landed him in cuffs and on the front pages, but it also resulted in a holiday lockdown for the first family, just as they were about to enjoy a turkey dinner like the rest of us.

Few details have been released about the latest White House fence jumper or his motive, however some sources say Joseph Caputo appeared to be on a mission for “self governance” and had some issues regarding the environment as well.

The Connecticut man threw his arms up in victory after scaling the head-high enclosure yesterday, then sat peaceably on the North Lawn as secret service agents and police dogs rushed to apprehend him.

A spokeswoman responsible in part for overhauling the steel structure so the Caputos of the world would cease breaching security zones at the nation’s capitol later expressed consternation and embarrassment about the incident.

“The failure of the new White House perimeter fence, despite its recent modifications with spikes, is both baffling and discouraging,” she lamented in a written statement.

Caputo has been charged for the criminal trespass and is reportedly spending the rest of his Thanksgiving weekend in lockup -- at a secure and undisclosed location.

Weird Crimes, Federal Offenses




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