BREAKING NEWS: Reports of the Milwaukee Lion have evidently been confirmed by police today, one week after numerous 911 calls concerning a “large lion" at large in the city first started pouring in.
No one is missing a lion, of course, making the matter more puzzling, and nobody’s gotten close enough to tell which of several possible varieties the suspect big cat might be.
Worse, the line of containment for bagging the beast -- who has also been sighted at least once in a park creek with a cub -- “may have been broken,” announced a police spokesman on Sunday from a situation-post near 31st and Cameron.
Those perimeters were drawn up based upon the most recent reports from last night, which resulted in an entire neighborhood being cordoned off in hopes of catching the Milwaukee Lion, hopefully alive.
The boundary breach implies that the search and quest to capture the lioness and its possible young one must be launched afresh now; although would-be capturers admit they don’t actually know where either one is at the moment.
All week lion sightings have continued to come in, officials confirmed, and, in one *close encounter* with it, a dog nearly got his paw shot off after unwittingly doing a terrific lion-impersonation at a playground.
The talented pitbull is said to be recovering.
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