Killer Crocs Caught with Human Remains

Mar 17, 2015 - 0 Comments

The killer crocs caught chowing on a human remains last month have been released on their own recognizance, following the conclusion that their tasty torso belonged to someone who’d already been shot. 

British tourists taking a sunset excursion on Africa’s scenic Zambezi River in late February 2015 were shocked to see the suspect reptiles feeding on something that looked awfully familiar – the lower half of a fellow human being.

On their urging they say the tour operator reported the gruesome incident to authorities, but, by the time anybody showed up to investigate the claim, all that was left of the victim were his trousers.

Thereafter, it took awhile for homicide detectives  to finally deduce that on the day the subject lost his head (and everything else vital to life) park rangers had pursued and ambushed a gang of poachers in the area.

Most of the 13 armed trespassers had escaped the confrontation intact, the rangers said. However, in the rapid exchange of gunfire they think one may have been fatally wounded.

“I suspect the man who was eaten by the crocodile was either injured during that shootout and tried to escape through the water,” explained  a spokesman for the Bhejani Trust conservation group based in Zimbabwe. “Or he was shot in the water and was already dead when the crocodiles ate him.”

In short, the number thirteen is unlucky, and the killer crocs were just doing what comes naturally: Dining on fresh kill.

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