Rumors of Jericho’s Death Are Great Exaggerations (he’s also not related to Cecil)

Aug 2, 2015

Zimbabwe park police happily report today that surviving lion king Jericho has not been killed as erroneously reported this weekend, and he’s not Cecil the lion’s “brother” either but the murdered big cat’s former best mate. 

That’s probably the reason Jericho has been protecting Cecil’s cubs ever since his regal buddy was lured from a protected habitat early in July and viciously slain by rogue trophy hunter Dr. Walter Palmer.

Across the pond, US authorities have confirmed that the world’s most wanted man has finally made contact with them via an attorney, although Palmer’s actual whereabouts are still unknown.

That follows weeks of being sought by both countries for an extremely unlawful safari that cost the pariah practitioner both $50,000 and his reputation.

Amid new reports that the disgraceful dentist was flaunting a gruesome selfie with Cecil’s corpse in an effort to entice a barmaid, Palmer is still believed to be in hiding, and it’s doubtful he’ll ever voluntarily turn himself in, now that other criminal offenses have also surfaced.

Because of this, Zimbabwean authorities state they have begun the extradition process that will compel Walter Palmer to return to the African nation for prosecution -- a legal demand that America must honor by treaty, especially because he also broke wildlife protection laws in his own homeland.

Since worldwide furor broke out over his misconduct last month, the Minnesotan’s mansions and dental offices have all been abruptly shuttered, and big game hunter Walter James Palmer has justifiably become the hunted for his gross wrongdoing.

Experts say his killing of a much beloved lion cruelly placed Cecil’s pride in peril, too, since it’s natural for power struggles to then erupt among lower-ranked males, which typically include the wholesale slaughter of an overthrown ruler’s young.

Hearing now that rumors of Jericho’s death are great exaggerations, and that, moreover, he loyally stands guard over his slain friend’s cubs and lionesses, is therefore the only truly good news to come out of Africa in nearly a month.

@EponymousRox

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